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R-E-S-P-E-C-T… explain it to the straight man

I had the most wonderful day yesterday…

Ohio gay marriage death certificates Gay respect








…it wasn’t only because I was getting my hair done! It wasn’t because the man transforming me was gorgeous or that his boyfriend was gorgeous. It wasn’t the insightful, honest conversations, or even them having valid questions for me that required some thought. Was it the sparkling water or the frequent “how are you doing?” and “is this okay”. Okay.. I am sure those things definitely helped!

I was looking into the beautiful eyes of a man cutting my hair and thinking, “I completely trust this man”. Did you hear that? TRUST! A MAN!  Not in my vocabulary. I am not looking at him as a daddy, protect me, man or a he is totally full of shit man, or full of himself man! I just see a man.. and I trust him. Completely out of the norm, my norm atleast. As I watch him and his wonderfully buff boyfriend who I am oddly not imagining completely naked, I sense something different. I am listening to them go over their morning with each other, feeling lucky to have hands that swish through my hair nonchalantly like they have a mind of their own. A light tousle here and there, a gentle smoothing out of the bangs, in love with having my moment. What about this environment made it feel completely zen? I continued to listen and I got it. This couple was being so respectful of each other! When one would get up to get a tea, “Would you like me to grab you one?” or water (sparkling or flat?). It’s one thing to ask that of a guest but another for it to be a natural habit that requires no thought but is so thoughtful. “You guys are so respectful of each other and you have been together for 5 years. That is amazing!” “We are respectful to everybody”. I tell them, and as always this is only based on my personal experience and we all know it ain’t perfect, go into a straight couple’s place after they have been together for 5 years (or even a week) and I never hear that. I don’t see the man going in the kitchen and asking her if she would like one of whatever he is having. I don’t see him apologizing if he forgot to ask (not that these men for a moment, forgot to ask), asking if there is something he could do to help with the paperwork she had in front of her. Reassuring her of everything she does. They were surprised about this. I told them it was true. It was so unbelievable. Imagine.. going into a place and knowing something is different and then eventually realizing it’s people being respectful of each other. Something you want to think is happening all the time, until it is thrown right in front of your face, that it isn’t. Crazy?

I could go on about how our relationships came to this point. Why these men did this but straight men don’t. Was it related to upbringing? Society? Genetics? But that can be done another day. Right now I want to savor the experience and double check myself, making sure that I am always being respectful, and appreciate the fact that I know these lovely men. I feel a tad blissful because of it and that feels good.

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