Some of us go through our whole lives not sure what we want to be when we grow up. It can change and life’s realities can evaporate your hope. You grow and the people around you change. I want to be a supermodel.. actress..singer..a hairdresser.. Time really does fly by and before you know it, you missed your window. Now what? Let’s go through the ABC’s. A– Alcoholic.. Check B– BiPolar.. Check C– Cheater.. Check Check.. Are you following me? What now? Your life is half way over and now you are mentally prepared to explore what is out there for you. Decide what you think might make you happy. Unfortunately, for most, it is too late.:(
Jessica Simpson in a beard
WELL NOT FOR ME!!
I know exactly what I want to be! I want the Barbie dream and if I can’t have that (never much liked blondes anyways..keep walking Ken!) I want to be a BEARD!
Why does that sound weird to you? Never been married? Trust me, if you have, you will understand. You must try everything once and I have. It boils down to.. What makes you happy?
High Heel Shoes! Not just boring heels but badass, can do some damage to you if you piss me off, kind of heels. I get giddy and like a schoolgirl going to school the first day of a new year with brand new clothes! I am seriously that thrilled! After shoes.. Gosh.. what comes after shoes?
Women in general are always insecure. We can always find fault in ourselves. Things we would like to change. We are complex and very few understand us.. except.. the gay man. He gets us. He says all the right things at the right time. He compliments when we need it. When he speaks, somehow it is from the soul. How and why? No idea.
I have a few people I worship in the gay community. Some for their looks.. some for their abs.. some for their sensitivity and ability to read my mind and accept me for who I am. I love them. I adore them. I believe them when they tell me my shoes are amazing. There is eye contact.. no flinching.. no gas passed and always encourage a little more cleavage.
What has surprised me is that there are so many that are still very “closed” about their orientation. Does that even sound right? Orientation? I don’t think so. They are gorgeous, successful, wonderful human beings but for some reason do not feel 100% confident about being open about their sexuality. That is where my window of opportunity is!!
I would LOVE to be a beard for hire! There are going to be family events or business dinners where it would be so much easier if you had a date. There will be times when the ex-wife would be so much easier to deal with and ask so many fewer questions if you just had a GF to be your bumper pad. That is ME! In my heels.. Providing a cushion for the hits.
Let’s break it down. I am a single mom and I have no desire to get married again. I love dressing up, high heels and dancing. Do you see where I am going with this? I know when to behave and can misbehave when necessary. Life is meant to be enjoyed!
I checked Craigslist.. No ads for Beards.. or Beards available.. A few places looking for hairy women to model but that’s different.. although the pay isn’t too bad. I just feel like.. I’m an entrepreneur. This is an area I would love and excel in. Of course.. everything is negotiable. I am not looking for Barbie’s corvette but I sure would love her wardrobe!
Baby with a pipe sporting a beard
Ladies Sporting Beards
Say Something Raunchy