Let’s touch on circumcision, shall we?
Okay.. get your mind out of the gutter. It’s a baby anteater not a penis. Please! Do you find it adorable? Your answer could make all the difference.
I’m sitting at home, going through emails and in the back I can hear a comedy special starring Amy Schumer. I am cracking up periodically and it helps keep things from being so boring. She brings up uncircumcised men. She mentions how they never give you a heads up (true!) and that once you are surprised with it you wish you could run away. It reminds me of my experience/experiences with the turtle-necked beast. First of all, penis’ really aren’t that attractive. I mean there is a huge and tiny (lol) variety. Some are multi-colored, some are vascular, some are smooth as silk, some turn to the left and some turn to the right. You are not given a heads up on those either so you have to be prepared. The thing that I have found is no matter what it looks like, men have a token answer if they even remotely think you are seeing “this type” for the first time. What is it? They say it with tension in their voice, “It makes sex better”. They explain about their penis being more sensitive than other penis’. They tell you how many women LOVED the curve because it could hit the spot. No matter what…we should apparently be cheering up and down because we have hit the jackpot! Since this is about circumcision, I will only address that elephant trunk in the room.
Take a look at this picture. I am aware that it is flacid and that once hard they “get bigger” but what I want is to look at it aestetically. I had never seen an uncircumcised penis. I had no idea what was going on. Does the real penis come out? How does it come out? Where does that skin go? Can’t I just make you hard over your pants so I don’t even have to deal with this? How do you give a blowjob? I mean, men love you to tickle the tip with your tongue. Where is it? Can’t even suck on it? What if there is lint under there?
(Remember I was much younger so that should explain the concerns)
It kind of looks broken. It sounds silly but I was concerned over whether there could be dried pee that dripped all over it. I wasn’t concerned about that with a circumcised penis. I guess with that little hole, I thought it just came out without a drop. It’s like trying to eat one of those vanilla ice creams on a stick that is covered with hard chocolate. You really want to get to the vanilla so you may lick a bit of the chocolate or peel it off the top and then use your tongue to dig in there. Some of the ice cream is going to to drip down the chocolate part right?
Was the sex different? No. Did it feel better to me? No. Did he seem to enjoy it more than others? Maybe but there could also be other guys out there who do arch their back and kind of swing their head back. I don’t know. It’s not like he would say it sucked. It just seems to me lately, you just don’t see those saggy oldies around as often as we use to. Are their less men uncircumcised? Has the boys change room where buddies make fun of each other made it so boys just don’t want to give anyone fuel for a joke. Telling the other kids how much better sex will be, they won’t buy that. I guess ideally, I would have liked to atleast seen one before. Even if just in a book. I could make friends with it first. Figure out how it works. Practice my facial expression. Nobody likes a surprise when you are getting all hot and bothered, listening to Stranglehold on the radio. It will break your rhythm. It’s like being shot in the face with a dose of reality. I am no longer the star of this Ted Nugent music video. I am back in my head thinking about the homework I have (remember this was a long time ago) Nope. I would have liked to avoid that.
Speaking of shot in the face!
No wait… that’s a whole other subject.
Say Something Raunchy