I have been sitting here trying to figure out a ‘J’ word to go with January. It’s really pissing me off. I have already used jack offs (although I do have a neverending list of stories under that catagory). I thought about “Juggs” or “Jauggernaughts” then I realized I’m not so sure how to spell that so I really shouldn’t try to write about it and the “Juggs” was just to draw people in. Since I already have pics of those then what really would be the point so…How about “Jollies” but that sounded stupid so right now I am just at January…January and ‘f’ the rest of you who expect more. It’s all I got and my brain is still on holiday. Of course this whole holiday thing is a bit confusing anyways over New Years Day being the first but the second things are closed so I am just on shut down all week. Any information can just be forwarded to my answering machine. In addition to the above, my mother is in town visiting and so far both of us are alive so I am being very careful about monitoring my stress levels (pill intake). I was having my usual wine and cheese combo but the “You are an alcoholic looks” were starting to get to be too much so I threw pills into the mix. Makes it all feel less judgmental or maybe makes me care less…either way it works. While all of this has been going on I have decided to try and make a big impact on society as a whole.
Small Penis Size and Low Self Esteem
Alot of thought (and wine) has been put into it but I felt it was time to “give back” in a cause that dearly touches my heart. SO this is what I am thinking..Okay, so you know how I am anti “little penis” (nothing personal), well I am thinking we get all of those men together and ship them to China. Why China? I don’t know. Why not? If the rumors are correct than this could be great for their self-esteem. Eventually as time goes on and pro-creation, we could end up eliminating the little pecker people all together and if all goes according to plan, based on my own research with other gfs, we may help cut back on the over population problem across the water as well. Genius? I KNOW! Completely! I can literally change the world..make an impact…inspire vaginas all around the world! Renew their hope in the future and all it can bring! Double AAs move over! There is a new plan in town!
A tad over the top but isn’t that what the American Dream is all about?
Time for another bottle
I took one of those Academy classes and asked about the jail question. AGAIN I got the confused looks! What is up with these people?! The class was fine except they ask you to tell what happened to you and of course after they hear mine they are like, wtf? Everybody had the whole “cops are assholes” catch in their story and I believed all of them. Even the instructor was like, “Yep..they do that shit all the time”. The only one that actually grabbed my attention was the one who was like, ” I don’t remember a thing. I woke up and they told me I got a DUI”. I was actually listening at that point. This lasted only a minute. It kind of is just a little hang out thing..watch tv but then as with all hang out things, problems arise. I explain, honestly and openly about my kids, not thinking they are obviously trying to make these people not drink so maybe not big fans of pills. I get asked alot of questions which I don’t mind, as I am always willing to educate until I get the whole, “Your kids are autistic. My wife is a teacher and she has 3 of those kids in her class that ruin everything. They shouldn’t be allowed to go to school with other kids”. I am thankful I popped a xanax before this and remind myself that in the big scheme of things, this is nothing. It is then followed with the,”Don’t you think kids are over diagnosed?
Don’t you think medication just hides their problems? Isn’t it just a way of avoiding dealing with their problems? etc” Normally, at this point, I am handing out my address saying why don’t you come over to my place, I won’t give my kids pills and you go have fun “dealing” with them! But again, I tell myself, this is just one moment. This guy has no clue, doesn’t live my life. I need to be understanding. So being the person I am and wanting to change the focus, I have to throw in, “Well you know sometimes I get such bad headaches I have to drink alcohol with my pills to make it go away. Sometimes it even takes a few drinks!”. You want to throw down about this subject? Let’s roll but DON’T EVEN THINK you have a f*&king clue about my kids cause I will bury you! Sorry. A tad hostile there. Time for another bottle. Breathe in and out…I am looking forward to next week. I can’t wait to figure out a way to manipulate my “business” and what I do into conversation. It will be fun! I have a sitter! Happy New Year fellow freaks! Love you all! XO
Say Something Raunchy