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It’s Just A Dick.. You Can Go & Buy One Down The Street! F^ck!

Yep! Not big enough? Got it covered!

Yep! Not big enough? Got it covered!


I know.. I know.. All you want to know is about the Sex Awards. I will be tackling that soon. What I can say is that I did learn a lot about fisting.. but today… today has thrown me a little.

I usually want to bitch slap someone when I get inspired to write a blog. This morning made me want to shake people in an uncomfortably strong motion in hopes that something would squeeze into that messed up head of theirs.

It could be the full moon coming, really doesn’t matter but wtf is going on with women when it comes to men? It seemed like everyone I talked to either was or knew someone completely messed up over a dick.. I mean man. No.. I am going with Dick. I know these amazingly hot and brilliant sexy women (I do pole dance as a form of exercise!) and they are currently being possessed by aliens. It’s the only explanation I can come up with. They are a shell of who they were and that shell is cracking. Why do they give these (most of the time) assholes so much power over their lives. That one man’s, out of every single man in the world!, that one man’s perception of them can destroy them. Just one man, one dick, one asshole and yes, there are a gazillion of them out there but no! this one.. this one who has usually treated them like shit, that one has broke their heart. Usually it is a guy who didn’t deserve the heart in the first place. I mean, right now they are possibly sitting at home, crying non-stop, hopefully not leaving multiple messages on the guy machine or writing a letter trying to basically convince the guy (who has stated one way or another) that he does want to be with her. That they love each other. They are meant to be. Well, let me tell you… if you have to convince them of it, it’s probably not someone you really should have in your life. In addition, we women tend to over explain things, speak/write from an emotional level. That is the last thing any man wants to hear. Seriously, if it is longer than 3 sentences they aren’t reading it and don’t even go near that emotion talk. They have a hard enough time dealing with it in real life, put it on paper and unless they can roll a joint with it, it is useless.

Why do these priceless women think so little of themselves to want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with them? Yes, I know these men made so many promises. Yes, I know these men really are simply amazing and capable of so much more and you want to help them see that. I know you saw your future together and it was bliss. First of all, if you saw your future as bliss, you are delusional. Even a great relationship is not full of bliss. The only perfect relationship, in my eyes, is if one of them days during the early years. No! I am not messing with you. It is the only way it can be a wonderful love story because if they both lived then they would end up killing each other and poof! No more fairy tale. Be realistic and STOP watching all of those romantic movies. They are movies! MOVIES! If they were true, they would be documentaries! Also, we can all say a lot of shit but it means nothing unless you do it. That really is the only part that requires any work, exertion. On the latter part, who you want him to be, is not who he is and if you can’t accept him that way.. it’s on to the next one!. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it can feel harder to breathe but think about it this way, if you can’t breathe without him, what happened to you? You need a man to complete you? Hell no! You are the only one who can make yourself complete. You are the only one who should work at making yourself happy. No one else. That is way too much pressure and as I have stated many times before, men are not mind readers. Men have one train of thought. Treat him like a three year old and things will get easier. Why? Because then atleast you are telling him what to do and he will know! Remember!! Movie… Documentary!

I know some women think they are on a time schedule and they want to have kids so that means they need to meet someone, date for this long, get engaged, then married, then immediately work on kids, blah.. blah.. blah. Absolutely false! Have you seen older women these days? (Myself included) They look phenomenal! They are phenomenal! I mean I get that you need to cry but seriously.. does it feel good? Do you like it? Do you like feeling that way? THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP DOING IT? Take a look in the mirror! Who do you see? I know it isn’t who you saw before you got in this dysfunctional illusion of a relationship. You let this one man.. who treated you like crap, less than you deserve! You let this one man.. who probably can’t tell you, after living in the same apartment for 10 years, he probably can’t tell you what day the garbage man picks up, or how long you have been together, what you were wearing the first time you met. Can you remember that? Well then already, you are settling for less. If he can, if he seems to be the perfect man, ya, he’s a player and he’s done this before and will do it again. The right woman, who will love him like no other, will not change him. He probably won’t even notice.

See why I am frustrated! Have a grieving period. The best was a friend who bought a bottle of tequila, put it in a paper bag and got hammered in a parking lot. You know what I said? Call me next time! I will totally come join you! Then call your gfs and ask them to help you be less pathetic. Why can they help you? Because we have all atleast once, but usually many more times than that, been pathetic ourselves. While together work out a plan. To do something you have never done before.. something you are afraid of or something that you are uncomfortable with. Do it together! It will be what you need to see, everything you were looking for, in that guy, you already had, inside. Unless a man can add to your life and not take away, why do it? Why do something that doesn’t make you happier? It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t even have to be something big. It can be shooting a gun, riding the trapeze, changing your hair color, chopping it off, riding a mechanical bull.. anything. There will be people who say one day he will regret it and they have the best intentions. The thing is once that day comes you won’t care. You would really like him to hurt right now, like you do. Of course, flip that around, and think about the guys you have turned down and how they felt. It’s a give and take. Even if you have to fake it, who cares! Do it! Throw on some heels and head to the grocery store. Sexually harass young men! Fuck it! The world isn’t changing to make you happy so do it yourself and screw everyone else! And if you are really horny and don’t want the complications of a dick that talks, walk down the street to ConRev or Pleasure Chest and BUY ONE!


What do you mean you can't feel anything?

What do you mean you can’t feel anything?


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