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I can only rent because I have commitment issues

Male Blow Up Doll

Actually it came out of left field. A compliment from a friend, from back in the day, that made me smile. Yes, it wasn’t exactly roses & champagne, but when has that ever worked for me? NEVER! I’d rather hear reality. We caught up, had intelligent conversation, then discussed what we had in common over . . . → Read More: I can only rent because I have commitment issues

Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

Stocking Stuffers

I have been sitting here trying to figure out a ‘J’ word to go with January. It’s really pissing me off. I have already used jack offs (although I do have a neverending list of stories under that catagory). I thought about “Juggs” or “Jauggernaughts” then I realized I’m not so sure how to spell . . . → Read More: Shipping Men With Small Penises To China | Improves Self Esteem

Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

Watch Out For Bad Cum Shooters

WARNING! WARNING!

What is going on? What is with the urgent message? WTF?

I am sorry to have to interrupt your Friday evening escapades but I received a phone call that was very upsetting to me. A dear friend called me very distraut. She was inconsolable. What happened? She explained…OH NO! Not again! I became . . . → Read More: Warning Warning | Poor Shooter | Ouch My Eye Hurts

Myth #6: Machismo is Sexy-Hot

Shut Up Small Dick

Machismo.. Doesn’t that word just scream gold chain, hairy chest, the scent of Old Spice, white socks worn with sandals, speeding by you in an Iroc? Pretty hot huh?

NOT! It also screams arrogance to me and I hate arrogance. It also screams bushy hair to me and I’m not sure why but that leaves . . . → Read More: Myth #6: Machismo is Sexy-Hot

Anal Anxieties | Strap It On

Butt Cheeks And Leather

Now WHERE is the anal-anxieties from? Certainly not what you think immediately (that’s a whole other monthly blog!) more about me being PISSED with the judicial system. Not the petty crap like my ex owing me $320,000 in child support, not parking tickets, but the fact that because I have such incredibly bizarre situations always . . . → Read More: Anal Anxieties | Strap It On

Myth #5: All You Need Is A Big Dick | Not!

Ladies Who Ride Cooks Corner

FYI: Just because you have a big dick doesn’t mean you can just lay there

Well it’s a new month! I’m in a new place and I’m feeling pretty optimistic. Not quite sure why..I haven’t had that much to drink yet but hey..I’m running with it. I’m totally stoked for the Ladies Who Ride Event . . . → Read More: Myth #5: All You Need Is A Big Dick | Not!

March Mini Men | Yes We Are Talking Penis Size

The Ass Girl With Elderly

Okay.. Look.. I know! Where have I been? But we need to focus on something even more important. The mini men.. little penis guys. Now yes, I have mentioned my theory on sending them to another country and only allowing big penis men to pro-create. I can be a bit harsh at times but it . . . → Read More: March Mini Men | Yes We Are Talking Penis Size

February Fellatio | A Great Month For Oral Sex?

Getting Off In Public

I was pretty much 100% in favor of Fellatio this month! Although I think if you took a poll of the men out there they would definitely disagree. I pondered over how and what to say. I felt like if it was what everyone wanted to hear about, I had to give it a shot. . . . → Read More: February Fellatio | A Great Month For Oral Sex?

Myth #2: Penis Size Doesn’t Matter | The Truth

happ-fuck-yourself

The Truth is it does!

As you know, I was not able to make Daytona so now I am aiming for Laughlin. Anybody have any extra room out there? Had a little car accident with an “asshole” that messed everything up! I have, however, been making my rounds and flashing my ass everywhere.

I LOVE . . . → Read More: Myth #2: Penis Size Doesn’t Matter | The Truth

Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

Kermit Flashing

One night (drinking) I was hanging with a gf..drinking some tequila(Jose’ I’m broke so the shitty stuff but tolerable in a one up kind of situation) we decided to go on Plenty of Fish and make a post. Not a usual post but a “Two For One Blue Plate Special”. IT WAS AWESOME! We . . . → Read More: Two For One Blue Plate Special | What Do Guys Really Want?

Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

Tits On Bike

Morality? Gets in the way of fun? Nahh ! LOL. May cause a pause at times? Yea..probably. I scratch my brain and have more wine. I think morality is different for everyone. All I know is that the only person who can make you happy is yourself, so do whatever it is you want to . . . → Read More: Morality And Sleeping With Your Cousin

Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

Two Girls Smelling Pink Roses

Time for my Part 2,Saturday Night with my gfs. We decided to meet for a few drinks at a new place to start. One of those Sunset Blvd.places where there is no sign outside telling you the name of it, just a few high price sports cars strategically parked out front.We enjoyed a little gossip . . . → Read More: Playing Supermodel in Parking Lot | Sunset Blvd.

Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective

Young Man And Cougar

This is my review of this book. Now please understand you do not have to agree with me, it is only my opinion. I am glad I waited a few days. My “hotter than hell” cousin came over to visit (before he goes back to NY BOOO!) and asked me about the book. I gave . . . → Read More: Turn Me 50 Shades of Grey | An S&M Perpective

Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

TheAssGirl Smoking Cigar

Me? My Own Television Show? Can someone please tell me where everyone disappeared to?? I had all of these new hits last month and then.. POOF! Wtf? Did I offend someone? Do I have to start going door to door offering sexual favors? I’m at a loss. When I am at a loss, I decide . . . → Read More: Why I’m Ideal For Trailer Park Reality Show

From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

Hot Stripper Play

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS!!

It’s Friday night and I am sitting here daydreaming about living in my Barbie House. My kids, pets and my days of the week. Why am I calling it the Barbie House? Probably because when I was young I desperately wanted one. We couldn’t afford it so I would pack all of my . . . → Read More: From Barbie Houses to Stripper Poles

Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

Gay Men Love These Shoes!

I have been exposed to something I have never experienced before and I don’t know if I can come back from it, actually if I want to. I spent an evening with these phenomenal men. Let’s keep it simple(for the men reading this) and call them Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. It . . . → Read More: Falling For Gay Men | You Look Fabulous! I LOVE The Shoes!

50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

Big Ass Big Bike

I decided to try something different this month. I am going to be posting my review of Fifty Shades of Grey so I figured lets stick with that S&M theme. I hope that isn’t a problem for anybody…

Now I know I seem like a woman of “experience” mostly due to the fact that I . . . → Read More: 50 Shades Of S&M | Getting Busted By Landlord

Pole Dancing Country Style | Men and Women Work The Pole

Man Spanking Self in Chaps

Photo Mayhem – Meets the Stripper Pole A ho-down complete with chaps, stripper poles, and more.

[Show picture list] jQuery(document).ready(function(){ jQuery(“#ngg-slideshow-17-198-14″).nggSlideshow( {id: 17,fx:”fade”,width:320,height:240,domain: “http://theassboy.com/”,timeout:10000}); });

The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

Bankrupt Films Water Bottle

What am I up to now you ask? A couple people I care about have recently found out their child has autism. They have a long, stressful road ahead of them but I want them to know that there may be some unexpected surprises along the way.

THE JOYS OF AUTISM

When my oldest was . . . → Read More: The Joys Of Autism | Mom Look What I Can Do!

Valentine’s Date 4 Hire

Your Valentines Date

Valentine’s Day got you worried? Not sure how you are going to pull it off with all those couples invites? I have the perfect solution! It’s a new service I started called “Dream Date For Hire”.

Our Current Dates Available For Hire:

Your Valentines Date

As you can see..we only hire professionals. We want . . . → Read More: Valentine’s Date 4 Hire